Imaginary Monsters
by PirateChick
Summary: Raven's not afraid of anything... Or so she likes to think. But what happens when she needs to confront her nightmares, and fast, before she hurts everyone around her? BBxRae. COMPLETED.
1. Chapter 1

**Oh, wow, I'm lazy. It's been so long since I've last updated... Why? 'Cause I'm forgetful, buried in homework, and just plain lazy on the weekends. But from now on, I'm going to try and get at least one chapter in per week, instead of every three weeks, or whatever the heck I was doing. But now...**

**New story! Yes, I have a very short attention span, but I will get Sweet Dreams finished... Give it time, sometimes the way I work even confuses me. So... enjoy and review!!! **

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. I don't own a lot, actually...

"I'm Raven. I'm not afraid of anything. I'm _Raven_. I'm not afraid of _anything_."

At least, that's what she kept trying to tell herself, as she lay in her bed in the middle of the night, staring at the ceiling. In reality, there was one thing that scared her: nighttime, when all of her worries and fears came back to haunt her in the form of recurring nightmares.

As she lay, staring at the dark ceiling, mindlessly repeating her mantra, she thought of the times that this had happened previously. She'd had a lot of nightmares as a little girl, when the world was still scary and new, and again when she'd first joined the Titans, and was afraid of rejection. As well, she'd had nightmares about confronting her father, but those had vanished when Beast Boy and Cyborg had entered her mind, and helped her to defeat Rage. That had been over a year ago, and she hadn't had any nightmares since.

But now they were back, and worse than ever. A couple of nights previous, Raven had woken up to find her room in utter chaos; her distraught emotions had torn it apart while she slept. Now she was truly afraid; what if she blew up the Tower in her sleep? She just wasn't safe anymore.

The worst part was that she couldn't identify what was scaring her. Each time, by the time she woke up, she'd forgotten the dream, and was left only with a growing terror, and the sense that it was all her fault.

Because of the incident from two nights ago, Raven had been afraid to sleep. She'd merely lay in bed, muttering to herself, drifting through various stages of exhaustion. Luckily, no one else had noticed her fatigue; the last thing she needed was to get the others involved. No, she needed to get through this alone.

"I'm Raven. ...I'm... not... afraid..."

Before she could finish the now meaningless phrase, her eyelids dropped, and Raven fell into an unwanted sleep.

* * *

"Beast Boy, I'm not having tofu eggs for breakfast. Herbal tea is all I need." Raven glanced at the changeling out of the corner of her eye as she poured herself a mug of tea the next morning. 

"Aw, c'mon, Rae!" Beast Boy pleaded, holding the plate of toast and tofu eggs in front of her temptingly. "You should eat breakfast... You've been looking a little worn-out lately."

Raven's eyes went wide at this. She quickly looked at Beast Boy with suspicious eyes. Had he figured it out?

"I'm fine," she snapped irritably. With a groan, she realized that she was holding only the handle of the teapot; the rest of the pot had shattered due to her outburst. Her emotions had gotten very touchy the last couple of days, due to her loss of sleep.

Beast Boy glanced quickly at Raven's tired face, then back to the mess of glass and tea. "I'll get that," he volunteered quickly.

"Thank you," Raven replied, a hint of sincerity in her voice. Mug of tea in one hand, book in the other, she made her way over to the couch, leaving Beast Boy and the teapot alone.

She let out a sigh as she sat down, taking a sip of the hot, soothing drink. She was relieved to know that she hadn't had any nightmares last night, after she'd fallen asleep, but she knew she couldn't hold out much longer. She had to sleep sometime, and it was that that scared her. But she was so tired...

She shook her head violently, pulling herself out of her daze. Her thoughts were muddled, and her brain felt fuzzy.

'_I need to clear my head,'_ she decided mentally, and, finishing off her tea, stood, prepared to head for the roof. Beast Boy, finished with the teapot, caught the motion.

"Hey, Rae... Where're you goin'?"

Raven gave a short sigh of exasperation. "Away, Beast Boy."

"Oh... Can I come?" There was a hint of hopefulness in the changeling's voice. Raven looked over at him questioningly, one eyebrow raised.

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Are you sure? 'Cause it can get pretty lonely, all by yourself."

"That was the idea," Raven replied, the annoyance in her voice clear.

"Oh... All right, then," Beast Boy said quietly, trying to disguise the disappointment in his voice.

Without another word, Raven turned and left him, heading for the roof.

* * *

"Why does he have to be so annoying? I can't stand him!" Raven told the brisk morning air, as she stood on the roof moments later. "I have other problems to deal with... I can't be babysitting him, too." 

She pushed the matter to the back of her mind, deciding that it was unimportant. She sat down cross-legged and began to meditate, the one safe way she had of clearing her head.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azarath, Metrion... Zinthos... Azarath... Metrion..." Overcome with exhaustion, Raven fell asleep on the roof, in the light morning air.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alrighty, folks, second chapter's up!!! Yay!!! Before it begins, though, I'm want to thank everyone who reviewed my story, and reply to some of my reviewers (Yay! I have reviewers!).**

**BoxieRoxie: I wouldn't know if there was an episode just like this, because I've only seen Season 1 and the first four episodes of Season 2. So if this seems a little similar, it's completely accidental!**

**MlzMissa: Yeah, yeah, from now on, you get sneak peeks. Like me again, 'kay?**

**Now, on to Chapter 2!**

Disclaimer: Heck, I don't own anything. There, I admit it.

_I'm running, I'm running... I don't know where I am, I don't know where I'm going... I'm scared, no, terrified... Not only for myself, but for everyone else... Oh, I've stopped... All around me is death and destruction... Everyone's dead, everyone's gone... And it's all my fault... No, no, this can't be right... No..._

Raven awoke suddenly, in a cold sweat despite the hot sun that beat down on her. Sitting up, she realized that she'd fallen asleep on the roof. Judging by the sun, it had to be about noon... She wondered vaguely why no one had come to find her.

She stared out at the sparkling ocean, reliving the last couple of moments of her dream in her mind. She was surprised that she'd been able to remember any of it, and more that a little unnerved- her dreams were getting more vivid; surely, the event that they were predicting would soon come to pass. She shuddered, remembering the last couple of moments before she woke up. She had to figure out what was scaring her, and fast, before her nightmares became a reality.

A sudden burst of inspiration came to her. _'I know, I'll-'_

The thought was quickly interrupted by the sound of a door opening, and Starfire's cheery voice.

"Hello, Raven! We are all going to the mall of shopping... Would it interest you to accompany us?"

Raven turned to study the auburn-haired girl for a moment. She was almost positive that the girl was expecting a no; Raven hardly ever went to the mall.

"Actually, I think I will come."

Starfire looked surprised for a moment, but quickly recovered, her smile growing wider.

"Oh, that is wondrous! We shall do the shopping of clothes together, and-"

"Actually," Raven interrupted, before the alien girl could go any further, "I was just planning on going to the bookstore."

"Oh," Starfire replied, seeming a little disappointed, but then she smiled again. "Oh, well! It will still be wonderful to have you accompany us! Come... The others are waiting!" Without warning, she flew over and grabbed Raven's arm, dragging her across the roof. Raven gritted her teeth; already, she was beginning to regret this.

* * *

"All right, so we'll meet back here, in front of the food fair, around two-thirty. That should give everyone plenty of time."

Robin looked at the other Titans as they finished their lunch at the mall's food fair. His eyes landed on Beast Boy, who was stuffing the last couple of bites of his vegetarian special into his mouth.

"And Beast Boy... Try not to get kicked out of any more stores."

"Dude, that was so not my fault!" Beast Boy cried out defensively around a mouthful of tofu. "I thought those coats were made of real fur!"

Robin just rolled his eyes as he stood up from the table. "Anyway... Starfire and I are... um... going to go catch a movie. See you guys later."

As Robin and Starfire walked off together, Beast Boy and Cyborg glanced at each other, suppressing snickers. Then Cyborg stood up, too.

"Hey, man, I'm going to go check out that new game at the arcade. I'll see you there once you're done with your veggie-crap." He pointed at Beast Boy's lunch, a meal that could only look appetizing to him.

The changeling pretended to look indignant. "No animals were harmed in the making of this meal."

Cyborg chuckled. "Nothing _real_ even went _near_ that meal, BB. Anyway, I'll catch you later." He grinned and walked off, making a beeline for the arcade.

"So..." Beast Boy said, turning his attention to Raven, who hadn't spoken through the meal, "Where're you gonna go, Rae?"

"The bookstore," was Raven's clipped reply. She wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible.

"Hey... Need someone to go with you?"

"No."

"Oh..." Again, Beast Boy looked somewhat deflated, but he managed to hide it quickly. "All right, then. See you later!" With that, he jumped up from the table and ran after Cyborg.

Raven wasted no time. A couple of minutes later, she was in the mall's bookstore, searching along the aisles for one book in particular. As her search continued to grow longer, thought, she frowned.

"It's not here..." she murmured, half in disbelief. She was almost certain that it would be here. She _needed_ it to be here.

"Well... Now what?" she leaned against the end of a bookcase, thinking hard. Suddenly, she remembered: there was an old used-bookstore at the other end of the mall. They might have what she was looking for.

Ten minutes later, Raven found herself outside the old bookstore. Quickly, she glanced up at a giant digital clock suspended from the mall's ceiling; it was two o'clock. She had half an hour.

'_Well, that should be enough time,'_ Raven thought to herself as she hurried into the store.

Twenty-five minutes later, she found out how wrong she was. She'd combed through every shelf in the store twice over, and still hadn't found what she was looking for. Just as she was about to give up, and back to meet the others, something in the back of the store caught her eye. It was an old cardboard box, marked in purple marker, "Books- Fifty percent off". And there it sat, right on top of the pile.

Raven rushed over and scooped up the book of dream meanings, reaching into a pocket in her cloak- when she stopped, her face paler than normal. All of her money was back at the Tower; Starfire had been in such a rush to get her out the door, that she hadn't had any time to grab any. She'd have to research her dream's meaning, right here, right now... But she had only three minutes left.

Leaning against the wall, Raven began avidly flipping though the old book. Here was one...

_Running: Is someone running toward or away from something? What? Why?_

Raven raised an eyebrow. What the heck was _that_ supposed to mean? Shaking her head, she continued to flip through the book.

_Fear: What is it that you are afraid of? Perhaps someone is playing on your fears._

Another useless meaning. Raven glanced at the clock on the wall; one minute left. And she still had one more meaning to find. She quickly fumbled through the book, finally coming to rest on the right page.

_Death: Death marks the end of a stage in life and a time of great change._

Raven sighed, tossing the book back into the box. She'd made it in time, but she didn't feel relieved in the least. Glancing once more at the book, she left the store.

* * *

A half hour later, Beast Boy and Cyborg sat in front of the GameStation, eyes glued to the screen, Starfire excitedly cheering them on. Robin sat listening to music, off in his own little world. Raven sat on the couch reading, attempting to tune them all out.

Unable to concentrate, she merely stared blankly at the page; she'd reread the same sentence ten times over, and still had no idea what it said. Her mind was focused on her dream, trying to puzzle it out.

'_You've been stressing over this all day,'_ a small voice in the back of her mind said, _'You should_ _take a nap.'_ As she thought this, her eyelids began to droop. _'No, no!'_ She shook her head violently, dark hair flying. She couldn't sleep. But she was so tired...

She fought desperately to keep her eyes open, but they seemed to grow heavier with every passing moment.

_'No! Don't... go... to... sleep...' _

_She was running again... A green haze was following her, threatening to envelope her... She couldn't fight, she had to run... Everyone was hurt, everyone was dying... She was killing them all... Screams and yells surrounded her..._

"Raven! _Raven!_"

"Oh, please, Raven, wake up!"

Suddenly, someone was shaking her, and her eyes shot open, widening as she took in the chaos around her.

Furniture flew madly about the room, light bulbs exploding randomly. Cyborg and Robin had taken cover behind the counter, staring up at the ceiling... Raven followed their gaze, and gasped to see Beast Boy floating only a couple of inches from the ceiling. Starfire crouched beside her, eyes wide in terror.

"Please, Raven, stop!"

Raven swallowed hard, closing her eyes and concentrating. A couple of seconds later, furniture began falling to the floor; Robin and Cyborg had to dodge a table that had landed right where they had been. A moment later, Beast Boy fell, landing on his arm with a sickening crack.

Raven opened her eyes and looked about the room, from Starfire's expression of terror to Beast Boy's look of pain.

This was not good.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3!!! Yay! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I love ya'll!!! And, please, call the monkeys off, call them off!!!**

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, though I am constantly searching eBay for them on the computer that I also, coincidentally, do not own.

Raven felt numb as she stared endlessly at the blank wall opposite her in the hospital waiting room, her mind registering nothing. It seemed that everything in her head had come to a complete stop as soon as Beast Boy had hit the floor. She wasn't even entirely sure how she'd gone from that moment to this room, sitting in this chair, staring at that wall. She could only remember feelings of guilt, shame, and something else that she couldn't quite place.

She knew that Beast Boy had only broken his arm. She _knew_ that. He'd be in a cast for a couple of weeks, and then he'd be back to his normal, annoying, self. So why did she feel so terrible? She wanted to curl up and hide, but her body wouldn't respond, so she sat and stared at that wall, her eyes wide and glossy.

What scared her was that the other Titans _knew_ now. They _knew_ that something was wrong with her, and they were ashamed, or afraid; Robin and Cyborg wouldn't look at her; even Starfire averted her eyes when the empath caught her staring.

So she didn't look at them, either, but just stared at that wall.

What would happen once they got back to the Tower? She didn't have to ask; she already knew. The team would approach her, demanding to know what had happened. Robin would be concerned, Starfire would try to be helpful, Cyborg would be angry. Beast Boy would keep his distance, afraid of making her angry at him.

Raven wanted to stop time forever, right there and then, as she stared at that wall. She didn't want to face the Titans. She didn't want to face Beast Boy. She wanted to run away, she wanted to hide. She didn't want to confront Beast Boy after she'd hurt him because of a problem that she was too scared of to deal with.

She was ashamed of herself; she was Raven, she couldn't be afraid! She wasn't allowed to be. She had to be brave and strong at all times, _had_ to be. But there were still times when she wanted to scream, cry, and find comfort in someone else.

The Titans looked up as one as the doors to the waiting room swung open, revealing Beast Boy being led down the hall by a pretty, young nurse. He flashed a charming grin at her and winked as three of the four other Titans rushed up to meet him and his new cast.

"Man, there are some gorgeous girls working here!" he commented, and, as if on cue, the other three Titans began talking all at once, asking questions about Beast Boy and his cast. The changeling laughed, reveling in the attention, and answered them as best he could, though his attention seemed distracted as he looked about the waiting room. His green eyes landed on Raven, still in that chair, her dark eyes watching him cautiously.

"Hey, Rae!" he called over to her, grinning, but his smile faltered as the empath stood and left without a word.

* * *

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..." Raven repeated the phrase over and over again, as stars and planets hung in the black sky around her. Her mind was blank; she thought nothing, felt nothing. She didn't think of what had happened, didn't think of what would happen, just concentrated on those three words that held her together and kept her sane. 

A constant, persistent sound was slowly unraveling her sanctuary, and Raven fought to keep it intact, but she could already feel it shredding apart and slipping away into the back of her mind. Resigning herself to the real world, she opened her eyes – someone was knocking at her door.

She stood and walked to the door, sliding it open just enough for her to see the knocker. Surprise, surprise - it was Beast Boy. "Yes?" she asked, her voice hollow.

"Hey, Raven... I want to talk to you. Can... Can I come in?" The changeling smiled hopefully.

Raven gazed at him for a moment. She didn't want to let him in – she'd been avoiding him since the incident in the hospital yesterday – but she figured that she had to face him sometime. With a resigned sigh, she slid the door open a little further and retreated to her bed. Beast Boy entered and closed the door, then took a seat on the floor. Raven's eyes landed on his cast; it was tied up in a sling, but from what she could see, the rest of the team had signed it.

"So?" she asked, looking back up at his face.

"Well..." Beast Boy fidgeted a little, looking uncomfortable. "Well... What... What happened yesterday, Rae?" He looked up at her, concerned.

Raven was surprised. He'd never looked so... so serious and mature. She looked down at the floor – his expression made her feel even more ashamed and guilty.

"Beast Boy, I... I'd rather not tell you." She looked back up at him, watching him steadily, hoping that the answer would pass. Somehow, she hated the idea of the rest of the team knowing that she had weaknesses, like everyone else.

"C'mon, Rae!" Beast Boy suddenly burst out, his good hand clenched in a fist. "You've got the whole team scared! They're all worried about you... I'm worried about you... The least you can do is tell us!"

Raven looked up at him sharply. "You have no need to be worried," she snapped, "because I can handle it. I don't need you and the others on my back, too!"

A lamp shattered behind her, and she took a deep breath to calm herself, before catching the look of fear on Beast Boy's face. Something inside her writhed with guilt, shame, and anger. The Titans were afraid of her... Of _her_...

She quickly closed her eyes. She couldn't look at that fear anymore.

"Rae... Raven... It's gonna be okay. We're all here for you." Beast Boy was suddenly sitting on the bed beside her, his hand on hers. She quickly pulled it away, scowling. The changeling grinned sheepishly.

"Hey... To show you that there are no hard feelings, why don't you come see a movie with me? My treat."

Raven looked at him skeptically. Was he serious? She was about to say no, when she caught the hopeful glimmer in his eyes. He wanted her to say yes. And she'd caused him so much pain the past twenty-four hours...

"All right."

"All _right!_" Beast Boy's grin widened. "'Attack of the Zombies VIII', here we come!"

* * *

Sitting in the dark theatre an hour and a half later, Raven had to constantly remind herself why she was here. 

The movie was pointless. A bunch of dead people walked around, eating people. Big deal. Ten minutes in, Raven lost interest.

She looked around at the audience. There were couples making out in the back, and a couple of children huddling in front, terrified. And then there was Beast Boy. He would cheer the zombies on excitedly, until he was silenced every couple of minutes by an abrupt shower of popcorn from some gangly teenagers behind them.

Halfway through the movie, Raven found herself yawning. _'Oh no!'_ she thought to herself, _'You can't fall asleep now!'_ But it seemed that sleep was determined to take over, now that it had begun.

She tried staring at the screen, concentrating on the movie, forcing herself to stay awake, but her efforts only made her eyes watery, which made her want to close them. Everything was getting darker, the hushed noise from the theatre sounding fuzzy...

_'Don't... sleep...'_

_She was still running... It was a person, a person was chasing her... She tried to look back at them, but it was too dark... She was so afraid... People were screaming... She could hear them calling her name..._

"_Raven!"_

"Please, someone, help us!" 

Something in Raven's mind registered, and she was thrown suddenly back into the real world, dreading what she would see. "Oh, no... Not again..."

The movie screen was ripped in half, the projector broken, several people tied together in the film. Two children were levitating near the ceiling, and Beast Boy... Where was Beast Boy? Raven looked about wildly, quickly spotting him on the ground a few feet down the aisle, protecting a little girl from a black, glowing trashcan that seemed to be repeatedly hurling itself at them.

Raven threw herself back into her seat, eyes shut tight. _'Concentrate, concentrate... Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos...'_

The trashcan dropped in mid-air, the film slowly unraveling itself from the poor teenagers and dumping itself in a heap on the floor. Shrieking, the two children dropped from the ceiling, only to stop a couple of feet off the ground and gently land as Raven caught them just in time.

Beast Boy stood shakily, the little girl he had been protecting now in tears. After a quick glance around the theatre to make sure that no one was badly injured, he looked over to where he'd last seen Raven.

"Hey, Rae... Raven!" he called after her, but his only reply was a flash of a dark blue cloak as she hurried out the emergency door.

* * *

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..." 

'_Déjà vu,'_ Raven thought darkly as she levitated above her bed, meditating. Here she was once more, hiding out in her room, ashamed of what had happened because of her dreams. Because of the curse that was her powers. Because of her. Except this time, she had a plan.

She opened one deep violet eye, glancing at her clock. It was one in the morning. She'd been hiding out in her room, adamantly refusing to come out, even was Beast Boy knocked and yelled at her door for an hour.

But she figured that it would be safe to come out now. She stood and strode silently over to her door, sliding it open a crack and looking up and down the hallway. Certain that no one was around, she slipped out of her room, closing the door behind her, and headed straight for the roof.

The sky was black and star-studded, reminding her of her haven. She stepped to the edge of the roof, prepared to fly off.

"You were actually going to leave us?" a familiar voice came from behind her. Raven sighed exasperatedly.

"Beast Boy..."

"I mean, I knew you were stressed, but I didn't think you'd actually leave." He came and stood beside her, watching her solemnly. She gazed back at him steadily.

"I'm having problems. You've seen me. I nearly hurt the people in the theatre... I hurt you." She pointed to his cast. "I've done more harm than good."

The changeling shook his head. "So, that's it, then? You're just gonna up and leave?"

Raven's answer came out as barely more than a whisper. "I have no other choice."

Beast Boy seemed angry at this. "Of course not. Heaven forbid you should actually ask one of us to help you! No, you've go to play the part of the martyr, and avoid all help! God, Raven, d'you know that I spent half an hour reassuring the manager that there wasn't an earthquake, and another hour apologizing to the parents of those poor kids! You could've at least hung around to help out with the mess _you_ made!"

Though Raven's expression betrayed no emotion, her eyes seemed apologetic, weary... sad. Beast Boy must have caught this, for he began apologizing immediately.

"Listen, Rae, I'm sorry, I-"

"No." Raven cut him off sharply, her voice hollow. "You were right. I should have helped with my mess. But I'm going to fix it now." With that, she turned and disappeared into the night, Beast Boy's pleas echoing after her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hoo, boy. I know, I haven't updated for over a month… But I've had the worst case of writer's block EVER, and I had no idea where I was going with this. I still don't. Anyway… Please don't hurt me!! **

**Oh, yeah… In the past month that I haven't updated, I finally saw 'Fear Itself'… Wow. I did NOT mean to do that. But, whatever. It's still a cool story, right? Right?**

**I don't like this chapter. I've rewritten it several times, six different ways, and in at least four different languages. Okay, not really, but it sure feels like it. Anyway, on to the story! And remember to R and R!**

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. But I do own this handy-dandy 'Plot in a Box'!

"Don't worry, man, we'll find her."

Beast Boy snorted in disbelief, not even looking at Cyborg. He'd heard that sentence so many times in the past month that it no longer held any meaning, and was just a bunch of words randomly mangled together, like, "Chickens stand on one leg in Western Australia". None of the words seemed to belong in the same sentence together.

He stared out the window at the cold, gray sea, flecked with white caps from the strong wind. The weather had been crummy nearly every day since she'd left, almost like it, too, missed her constant sanity and calming presence. The real culprit was a hurricane down south, but Beast Boy chose to believe otherwise.

"Weather still bad, huh?"

The changeling nearly jumped in surprised – he didn't notice Robin standing right next to him.

Cyborg was the one who answered. "It's been crappy every day for a month; why should it stop now?"

"It's going to be all right," the Boy Wonder told Beast Boy softly. "You know she can take care of herself. And if she felt that she was too… unstable to be around us, we'll just have to trust her judgement."

Beast Boy glared at him out of the corner of his eye, not turning away from the window. "Dude, you're not helping any." He was silent for a moment before asking, "But why couldn't she come to us for help? It's not like we would've turned her down."

Robin thought a moment, before replying quietly, "Maybe she didn't know that."

The changeling looked at him, confused. "What?"

Robin shook his head. "Maybe she was scared to ask for help. I don't know. Anyway, I have to go. I promised Starfire I'd take her to the movies."

He walked off, leaving a disbelieving Beast Boy to his thoughts. Replaying the conversation over again in his head, he snorted again. "Raven, scared. Yeah, right. And I eat meat."

"Can I hold you to that?" Beast Boy had forgotten that Cyborg was still there. He turned to face the half-robot, a humourless grin on his face.

"Yeah, whatever." He turned back to the window, grin disappearing. "Raven's not afraid of anything."

* * *

Raven inhaled deeply, immediately regretting it as she coughed on the dust in the air. She was coughing almost constantly now; the air was foul in the tiny, musty, cluttered apartment attic in which she'd made her home. She sat by the dirt-stained window, watching as the relentless rain pelted the glass, and feeling it, too; water dripped endlessly from the rafters. 

The attic had a trap door in the middle of the floor, from which Raven was cleverly hidden by piles upon piles of cardboard boxes. The apartment's owner didn't know she was there, and she wanted to keep it that way; the empath was the sort of person you'd remember if you saw, and she didn't want anyone to know she was still in Jump City. Her dark eyes traveled slowly to a pile of greasy rags within arms' reach; her communicator was hidden in there, to muffle it should it go off. It would've been easier just to turn it off, but somehow, Raven didn't have the will to sever this last connection with her friends.

It was astonishing what one month had done to Raven. Her cloak was stained, and ripped in several places where it had caught on loose nails. Her violet hair fell in damp, stiff, greasy strings, and her empty eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles of exhaustion underneath them. Her stomach seemed constantly empty; she only left the attic for food and water at night, and even then could only scrounge up a bit.

The empath had long ago given up any attempt at meditation. The constant drumroll of rain was just too distracting, and even if she did manage to concentrate, she ran the risk of falling asleep. Of course, that was becoming less and less of a threat; she hadn't dreamt for weeks, on the few occasions that she'd let her guard down and slept. But she figured it was just luck.

A sudden harsh banging interrupted Raven's thoughts, as the attic trap door swung open, and an old woman emerged from it.

"All right, wench, I know you're up here! People seen you at the window! Now don't e'en think 'bout hiding… Ol' Lucy'll hunt ya down!"

Lucy emerged fully from the trap door, a long, metal fire poker in hand, looking immensely fierce. Raven shrunk down at the sight of her, silently grabbing her communicator from the rags. She would have to make a run for it; there was no way she could stay now.

A mouse rustled on the far side of the attic, and Lucy whirled around, away from Raven, pointing the poker wildly in every direction. "Get out o' there! Or I'll come get ya!"

Slinking behind the boxes, Raven made her way slowly around the edge of the attic, and towards the trap door. Finally, when she was as close as possible without being in full sight, she leapt out of her hiding place and made a dash for the opening.

At the sound, Lucy spun around wildly, swinging the poker just over Raven's head. The empath caught the surprised look on the woman's face for only a second before she was through the trap door and hurtling down the hall.

Around a corner, through a door, down another hallway, and a flight of stairs… And then Raven was outside, slipping and sliding down the street in the pelting rain. She ducked into an alley a few blocks away, stopping to slow her frantic, ragged breathing.

Hood pulled up and cloak wrapped tightly around her, she moved to the end of the alley, where she huddled between the wall and a dumpster. Already, she was soaked and shivering, her hair plastered to her pale, thin face.

She'd finally done it; she'd finally hit rock bottom. She had nowhere left to turn; not in Jump City, anyway. But she didn't want to leave… Where could she go?

She curled up tighter, trying to preserve body heat. She could leave the city, try and find some secluded place, where she couldn't hurt anyone. But… she hadn't had any dreams for a while. Maybe it would be safe to go home.

A police siren screaming nearby made Raven jump. That old woman, Lucy, must have called the police after Raven escaped. She groaned – this was not what she needed.

Deciding quickly, she realized that she didn't have the energy to make it out of Jump City alive. With a sigh, she resigned herself to her one choice left.

* * *

Beast Boy sighed distractedly, his mind continuously wandering away from the game of checkers that he was playing with Starfire. 

"Beast Boy, is this a 'checkmate'?"

"Different game, Star."

"Oh." Starfire went back to musing over her next move, and Beast Boy went back to staring out the window. After a moment, though, Starfire looked back up at him. "Beast Boy, this is not helping you, is it?"

Beast Boy looked up at her suddenly, as if just realizing she was there. Remembering what she had asked, he shook his head. "Not really. Sorry, Star."

Starfire shook her head and began packing up, smiling. "That is all right. I know you are distressed over the plight of Raven." She set the box aside, and the two sat staring out the window.

"Raven will be all right," Starfire murmured, suddenly breaking the silence. Beast Boy snorted.

"You don't know that."

Starfire looked at him, smiling. "No. But I think she will be all right. Raven is strong."

The changeling glanced down at his cast, his last reminder of the empath. "I sure hope so."

* * *

It was still pouring as Raven huddled outside the Tower, hidden from view by a bush. She was tired, hungry, and shivering uncontrollably, but still she didn't go up to the door. She didn't want to be seen; she didn't want them to know she'd come back. Her plan was only to grab some food, catch up on some sleep, and then say goodbye… for good. 

Her eyes drifted down to the overturned rowboat on the beach, half-hidden by as much sand as Raven could pile up. She had been too tired to fly to the island, so she'd had to rent a rowboat, using the last of her money.

The going across the water was little less than impossible, and had seemed to go on forever. Between the rain, the rough seas, and the wind, Raven was surprised that her little dinghy hadn't sunk halfway across. As it was, it was pretty low in the water when she finally pulled it on shore.

A sudden sneeze cause a bush nearby to glow black for a split second, then blow up, spraying leaves and twigs everywhere. Raven stared at it in horror, fixed to one spot, listening intently for the sound of footsteps over the patter of the rain.

Nothing. Thank heavens. Deciding that it would be best not to stay any longer, Raven stood shakily, took a calming breath, and flew unsteadily to the roof.

* * *

"All right, team, something weird's going on." 

It was several days later, and the remaining Titans were in the main room, discussing the latest events.

"You think?!" Cyborg snorted. "All our food's disappearing!"

"That's funny… Nothing's happened to my food."

Cyborg raised an eyebrow at the changeling. "Good. Then at least we're not dealing with an _insane_ thief in our home."

Beast Boy frowned. "Dude, tofu's totally edible."

"Whatever… Do you even know what it's made of?"

"Yeah… Tofu!"

Cyborg rolled his eyes with a snort. "The stuff's not even from this _planet_!"

"_Not_ now," Robin interrupted, scowling at the two. "We have more important things to deal with."

Cyborg and Beast Boy both sat back. "So what is it that you propose we do?" Starfire asked, looking worried.

Robin thought a moment. "Split up and search the Tower," he finally replied. "Star, you search outside. Cy, basement. Beast Boy, you take this room and the bedrooms. I'll search the roof."

* * *

"I think it's safe to say there's no one hiding here," Beast Boy muttered, as he checked around his messy room. Unless they hid under the piles of clothing that hid the floor, he figured that his room was safe. 

There was only one room left to check. Beast Boy stood outside Raven's door, staring at her name carved in the cold metal. Somehow, he couldn't will himself to open the door and search her room; it was a sanctuary, he shouldn't disturb it.

He thought of the many times he'd stood outside this door, begging to be let in. It was usually to apologize for something; he smiled bitterly, thinking of how he drove her nuts when she was here.

_When she was here…_ Why had she left? Because of her dreams, he knew that. But… he couldn't help but feel as if he'd done something to make her leave. Would things be different if he hadn't said what he did? Would she have stayed? Or would she have left anyway, because what he said didn't matter? Because he didn't matter?

He shook his head, as if trying to scatter the thoughts from his brain. He couldn't think like this. He had work to do.

Starfire's voice rang from the communicator, a welcome interruption. "Friends, there is a boat on the beach! It is upside-down, and covered in sand."

Robin's voice answered hers. "Good job, Star. Titans, gather on the beach. We're going to see what's under that boat."

* * *

"One… Two…. Heave!" 

Robin, Starfire, and Beast Boyeasily pulled the boat from the stiff, cement-like sand. Robin, who'd been excited at the prospect of catching the thief, didn't hide his disappointment.

"Nothing."

"Don't be so sure…" Cyborg commented. He was by the Tower wall, and was staring at the ground.

"What did you find?" In a couple of bounds, the Boy Wonder was at his side, and Starfire and Beast Boy joined him.

"Check it out." The half-robot pointed at a circle of leaves and twigs on the ground. Brushing some of them aside, he revealed a blackened circle of burnt earth. "It looks like the bush just… blew up."

Robin furrowed his brow in deep concentration, then gasped in realization. "Do you… think…?"

Cyborg nodded, glancing at Beast Boy. "She's come back."

**This chapter has been brought to you by 'Plot in a Box'! All the twists of a plot, without the mess! **


	5. Chapter 5

**After my…erm… disappearance off the face of the earth, I tried to write this chapter a little faster… But stupid writer's block insisted that I take at least two weeks to do it. Thank you for being patient with me!!**

**First, a moment of silence for my notebook, which has died for this fanfic. **

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. But if I'm lucky, I'll get them for Christmas.

"'Kay, Raven, open up! I know you're in there… If you don't open up, I'm coming in!"

Beast Boy stood back, frowning at the empath's bedroom door. Right after he heard that she could be back, he'd rushed up to her room; she had to be here, and he was determined to find her.

This scene seemed oddly familiar… Then it hit him. The last time this had happened had been the night Raven left. He couldn't have that happen again; he couldn't deal with it a second time. He _needed_ her to be behind that door.

"Fine, I'm coming in!" he called one last time, hope dwindling and tension rising. "One… Two… Three!"

He slid the door open with a bang, looking around the dark room expectantly. At the sight before him, he drew back, blinking in surprise.

There was no one there.

"No…" he murmured in disbelief, stepping into the room. "She's not here…"

The room looked exactly as Raven had left it; dark, neat, everything in its place. Statues leered down at him, dark books aligned the shelves, and the meditation mirror beckoned to him, reminding him of his horrid adventure in her mind a year ago. Slowly, he walked about the room, examining everything, as if looking for something; gradually, his speed quickened, and he dashed wildly around the room like a panicked beast in a cage, pulling out drawers and tossing about things as he went. "No! She has to be here!"

He slowed down, his breathing rapid, and sunk down at the foot of her bed. How could she not be here? She had to be here!

Calmer now, his eyes traveled about the room; before the whirlwind of his presence, it had looked virtually undisturbed.

Had she been here at all?

He stared at the floor in disbelief, picking at the carpet idly. She wasn't there… She had to be there… But she wasn't…

He was chasing a ghost. She wasn't there, never had been. The others were wrong. She hadn't come back…

His last fragment of hope dissolved, part of him going with it. Raven's room suddenly seemed strange, uncomfortable… He needed to get out. He couldn't stand being in here anymore. He scrabbled to his feet, hurrying out of the haunted room.

One hand on the door, he looked back into the dark chamber; despite the mess, it looked the same as always, but completely different. He opened his mouth to say goodbye, but stopped, knowing that there was no one there to say goodbye to.

With a quiet click, the door slid closed, throwing the haunted room into complete darkness, and soft, slow footsteps could be heard fading down the hall.

* * *

Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg all looked up as Beast Boy entered the room.

"Any luck?"

"Yes, did you have any success in the searching of Raven's room for Raven?"

The changeling didn't say anything, but the others understood him as clearly as if he'd yelled it. They glanced at each other, disappointment evident in their faces.

"We - We were sure…"

"Why is she not there?"

"Yeah, we thought for sure she'd be-"

"Yeah, well, you thought wrong!" Beast Boy suddenly snapped angrily. "You were all wrong! She wasn't here, and never has been!" He slowed down a little, and no longer seemed angry, just weary. "I was positive she'd be there. I can't – I don't want… She can't leave again…" He leaned against the wall, head down, hand on his forehead. "Why wasn't she there?"

Cyborg carefully walked up to him, TV guide in hand. "Hey, man, it'll be okay. I know what'll cheer you up… An 'Attack of the Zombies' marathon!" He held up the TV guide with a grin. "One through eight is on tonight!"

Beast Boy managed a weak grin. "Sure, dude. Sounds cool."

* * *

Somehow, Beast Boy decided, the 'Attack of the Zombies' series seemed to have lost something. The zombies weren't as cool, the screams not as loud, the people not as scared, the scenes not as gory. It was almost as if Raven telling him how dumb it was made it that much cooler.

Cyborg seemed to be enjoying it as much as ever, though. The changeling glanced over at him; the half-human was leaned forward, eyes glued to the screen, mindlessly finishing up his second bowl of popcorn.

"Yo, BB… Would you mind making some more popcorn?"

"Sure thing, dude." The changeling stood slowly, prying the empty bowl from Cyborg's hand. He meandered over to the kitchen, glad of something to do; 'Attack of the Zombies' just wasn't as captivating as it once had been.

He glanced up at the clock as he sat on the counter, waiting for the popcorn to pop. It was 2:15 in the morning. Beast Boy yawned, as if on cue.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of what looked like the corner of a cape or cloak go down the hall. "Hey, Rob?" he called out, wondering why the Boy Wonder would be up at this time of night.

There was no answer. The changeling slid off the counter, stepping towards the hallway cautiously. "Hello? That you, Robin? …Who's there?"

The silence of the hallway was interrupted suddenly by the sound of footsteps. Beast Boy's eyes widened as something in his mind clicked, and he took off running.

He could see someone running up ahead, cloak billowing out behind them. He sped up; it was too dark to see exactly who it was, but he figured he had a good idea.

"Hey, you… Stop!"

The figure sped up; it looked as if they had their hands over their ears. In that moment, Beast Boy knew exactly who it was. It was no ghost; she was real, and still in the Tower.

"Raven!"

She slowed for a moment, as if caught off guard by the name, then sped up again, hands pressed tighter over her ears. The changeling, determined, reached forward with his good hand, grabbing hold of a corner of her cloak. She jerked to a stop, then turned, hood drawn, face hidden, and started pulling at her cloak, trying desperately to free herself from Beast Boy's grasp. He held on tighter, determined not to let her go again.

"Raven, please, stop!"

He could see that the empath didn't want to hurt him, but she certainly wasn't going to come easily. He clutched her cloak tighter with his one good hand, refusing to let her escape.

"Why won't you stay? Why do you have to leave, why do you always have to play the martyr? Why can't you let someone else do that for a change?"

The empath stopped struggling, staring at him in disbelief from under her hood. Then, for the first time in over a month, the changeling heard her voice -–her tired, angry voice, raspy with disuse, but her voice all the same.

"God, Beast Boy, you're dense. You get hurt, and you still don't understand! I'm not safe to be around anymore! I can't risk anyone else getting hurt!"

"Then why'd you come back?" Beast Boy asked softly, somewhat lessening his grip on her cloak; the empath, however, didn't do anything; she seemed at a loss for words.

"I… I had to…"

The changeling took advantage of the pause. "You _wanted_ to come back! Face it, Rae, you don't want to leave, you want to be here, with us! And we want to help you! Please, won't you give us a chance?"

Raven pulled her cloak back from him, but made no move to leave. She stood there in silence, thinking, as if trying to find a good reason to leave again. Beast Boy used this opportunity to move closer to her, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"We're your friends, Raven. Please, trust us." His hand moved up to her face, gently pulling her hood down. Her deep violet eyes searched his face, and he smiled comfortingly at her; those eyes were so full of exhaustion, sadness, and burden.

"We can help you. Everything's going to be okay."

* * *

It was… different, being home again. Of course, as soon as Raven had agreed to stay, Beast Boy had gone around the Tower, waking everyone up by announcing her homecoming at the top of his lungs. Starfire, like the changeling, had been absolutely ecstatic at the news of her arrival, and had immediately prepared a celebratory batch of her homemade glorg. Of course, the empath had politely refused, claiming to have just eaten; though, in truth, she'd been starving at the time.

Now, she was alone; the other Titans had finally relented and given her her space, leaving her to her brooding thoughts. It was still early morning; just after 5:00. The sun hadn't yet risen, but its arrival was preceded by the faint lightening of the sky in the east, gradually turning pinkish-purple as time wore on.

And now, standing in front of the window, watching the sun show off his brilliant colours, she couldn't believe that she was back. She'd never thought that she would ever come home again, let alone after only a month. She frowned; _only_ a month. It had felt like an eternity – a cold, wet, hungry, exhausting eternity that she never wanted to experience again.

But, although she felt unimaginably glad to be back, she couldn't help but wonder why the Titans had taken her back, without so much as a question as to what she'd been up to. She couldn't believe it; she disappeared just like that, and then suddenly showed up in their house a month later, and they took her in, acting as if nothing had changed.

'_Well,'_ said a tiny voice in the back of her mind, _'Maybe nothing has changed. Maybe it's just you.'_ Raven shook her head, still in disbelief. She wasn't even supposed to be here. What had made her stay?

Beast Boy's voice echoed in her head. _"We're your friends, Rae. Please trust us."_ She winced, even at the mere thought of it. She did trust them… With her life. But she wasn't so sure she could trust herself with theirs.

She sighed, looking up once more at the fresh sunrise. She hadn't had any dreams for a while, even since being in the Tower… Maybe it would all be okay. Maybe she was worrying about nothing. Deciding to test this theory, she headed off for her room, exhausted.

* * *

Raven woke with a gasp, her breathing shallow, her heart pounding heavily in her chest. They had started again…

She had been running again… The world ahead of her was dark, and behind her was light, but she kept running to the dark. A deep male voice had called out… What had it said? …"You can't run forever, Raven!" She had known it was true, but she kept running anyway… And then she'd woken up. The empath sighed wearily; she was back at the beginning, back to a blind, faceless fear.

A quick scan of the room told her that, at least, nothing had exploded. Thank heavens for small mercies. Raven slid out of her bed, pulling her cloak on as she went, and headed out of her room.

Down in the kitchen, she poured herself a cup of much-missed herbal tea, glancing up at the clock. It was nearly noon; the empath glanced around the large room, wondering vaguely where the rest of the team had gotten to.

Tea in hand and thoughts in mind, Raven sat down, gazing out the window at the clear blue water. The weather had finally cleared up; it seemed like ages since the sun had last shone.

"Hey, Rae, whatcha up to?" Beast Boy bounded into the room, dropping onto the couch next to her. Raven watched him in annoyance; the boy didn't seem to have touched the ground since she got home.

"Nothing. Where are the others?"

"Cy's working on the T-car… And Robin's taking Starfire out to lunch again." He grinned. "It's so obvious they like each other… We're just waiting for them to admit it and go out."

Raven couldn't help but agree. Even before she left, it was obvious.

"So… Where ya been?" Beast Boy asked out of the blue.

Raven looked at him with a frown and a raised eyebrow. She knew what he was asking, but wanted to avoid the whole topic. "Sleeping," she replied, hoping that the conversation would end there, before it got any further.

No such luck. "No… I mean, when you were gone. Where'd you go?" The changeling looked at her, curiosity etched in his face.

The empath stared at the floor. She knew the question would pop up eventually. "Around the city."

Beast Boy nodded, and opened his mouth to ask another question, but closed it again, studying her face. "What's wrong?"

Raven looked up at him sharply. "Nothing," she replied quickly, her voice icy.

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. "Something's obviously wrong, Rae. No one runs away from home for a month for nothing."

Raven scowled. "My problems are none of your business."

Beast Boy stared at her incredulously. "You said you'd let us help you. How can I if I don't know what's wrong?"

Raven stood up, tea sloshing about wildly in her mug. "I said I'd stay. I didn't say I'd let anyone help me. Besides, there's _nothing to help with_." With that, she turned and left.

* * *

Raven sighed as she watched the windswept clouds rush across the dark star-studded background, occasionally passing across the white sliver moon, and listened to the howl of the wind as it gently shook the Tower. She'd been in her room since her 'conversation' with Beast Boy, meditating and cooling off. For the last hour or so, though, she'd merely stared out the window, unable to concentrate on anything.

A yawn pushed its way up her throat and burst through her lips. Her violet eyes moved slowly to her bed, as if it itself was a thing of evil. And at the moment, it was; it represented everything that she detested; the fear of her dreams, and the constant allure of a good night's sleep. Something, though, bent her will, and she found herself under the covers, cloak on a hanger, and candles blown out.

In bed, blankets pulled up, she stared at the ceiling, willing her nightmares to stay away. She didn't want to have to deal with the aftermath, especially after trying to convince Beast Boy that everything was okay. She hated to admit that something was wrong with her… If only the nightmares would leave…

Slowly, her eyelids dropped, and Raven drifted gently off to sleep.

_Running, running, always running… And now it was raining, too… Screams, cries, surrounded her… Something was chasing her, it was catching up… That voice called to her again… "Wait, Raven!"… It sounded familiar… Slowly, she looked back over her shoulder at her pursuer…_

With a startled gasp, Raven sat upright in bed, heart thudding heavily and cold sweat beads adorning her pale forehead. Her room looked like a war zone; vases and statues were smashed, books were scattered across the floor, and her sheets were draped across several shelves. Oddly enough, the mess didn't register in her mind; she went about the room mindlessly, gathering everything up. She knew who it was… She knew, finally, what was scaring her…

She stopped at the window, staring out at the turbulent waters. She finally knew. After over a month, she finally knew what was scaring her. But…

Why would she be afraid of Beast Boy?


	6. Chapter 6

**Yay! I've finally updated! And it's the last chappy! Aren't you all so proud? -glances around at crowd, grin fading as she realizes that they don't look proud at all… Rather, they look somewhat miffed- All right, I have an excuse… Okay, no, I don't. That was a lie. But… You can understand, right? …Right? -dodges toaster- Erm… On to the fanfic! -runs off, an angry mob trailing-**

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. I do, however, own several light-up ice cubes and a plastic robot.

Confusion had numbed Raven completely, as she sat on the couch and stared at the floor. The only part of her that was still functioning properly was her brain, which seemed to be trying to make up for the uselessness of the rest of her body by going through twenty questions a second. It was just after noon, and the empath had been like this for the entire day; not entirely sure of her surroundings, or how she'd gotten there. Amazingly enough, and quite luckily, too, her body didn't actually seem to need her to function; she'd managed to clean her room, made herself tea, and attempted to read a book, all without actually realizing what she was doing.

A thousand questions whirled and spun through Raven's tired mind almost like a dance. _'Why am I scared of Beast Boy?' 'Is this for real?' 'Why do these things always happen to me?' 'What if this is a trick?' 'What does this mean?'_

"Hey, Rae… What're you up to?"

The empath let out a startled cry and jumped at the interruption, a nearby pillow picking itself up and shredding itself into a thousand pieces in response. Picking fluff out of her hair, Raven turned to glare at her intruder; crap, it was Beast Boy.

The changeling laughed nervously. "Sorry to scare you."

_'How did he… Oh.'_ "You didn't scare me," Raven returned icily, voice shaking ever so slightly. Why would she be scared of him? He was scared of her, not the other way around!

"That's good… D-Do you need help with anything? You seem… I dunno, kinda spaced out today."

"The only thing I need," Raven replied testily, "Is to be alone."

"Well… You've been alone a lot lately, and, y'know, I figured you could use some company." Beast Boy's nervousness betrayed him, as he hopped from one foot to the other.

"Your company, I don't need," Raven snapped, teeth clenched, "All I _need_, Garfield, is for you to stop bugging me. Leave me alone! I don't need your company, I don't need your help, and I certainly don't need you!"

The words stung, like a slap to the face. Raven watched, horrified at her words, as the changeling cringed. For one long second, his expression was one of hurt, of pain… Like a wounded animal. She hadn't meant to say that… But it was too late, the damage was done. A moment later, the changeling gave her a weak grin.

"Sure… Of-of course. I… I should have realized. I'm… I'm sorry," he choked out. His dignity trampled, he shuffled out of the room, once more reminding Raven of a dog that's been beaten for returning the stick. She opened her mouth to call out, to stop him, but her words stuck in her throat, and all she could do was watch him leave.

Suddenly exhausted, the empath slumped down onto the couch, head in her hands. Despite all her efforts, she'd only managed to make things worse. Much worse. Beast Boy would never even want to look at her after this.

His expression, emblazoned forever in her memory, replayed itself over and over again in her mind, and each time, she hurt more than the last. How many times would she wound him like this?

Needing to get away from her thoughts, or at least to find some logical order in them, Raven decided to retreat to her one safe place. She stood silently, head down, hood drawn, and shuffled to her bedroom, hardly looking up. She thought she may have bumped into Starfire on the way there, but wasn't sure; she wasn't paying attention. Wordlessly, she slid her door open and crossed to the bed, snatching her mirror up on the way past. Seating herself in the middle of her bed, legs crossed, she quickly retreated farther into her mind.

As the empath opened her eyes, she found herself on the familiar stone path in the dark, starry forever that was her mind. A stone archway lay up ahead; needing to talk to someone who understood her, she made her way towards it.

As she stepped through the archway, the typical black abyss of her mind disappeared, a new scene materializing in its place. Raven looked around in confusion; this didn't look familiar.

The scene spread before her was dimly lit, if anything; the sky was painted with streaks of pink, purple, and gold, like a perpetual sunset. And endless rose patch stretched out to the empath's right, and a calm sea stretched to the left, a sandy beach between it and the path that lay before her. She gazed about, slightly bewildered; she didn't know she had a place like this inside of her.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Raven turned to find one of her many emotions standing behind her, gazing back at her with dark, peaceful eyes. Like the landscape, the empath had never encountered this emotion before. Her robes were a deep, luxurious red, and her expression was tranquil and content, like someone who is completely at peace with the world.

"Who are you?" Raven asked bluntly.

The emotion laughed softly, her voice light and melodious. _'So much unlike mine,'_ Raven thought, with a tinge of regret. She found herself almost ashamed to be in such a creature's presence.

_'Stop that,'_ she scolded herself mentally. _'She's _your _emotion. _She_ belongs to_ you

The emotion smiled sweetly at Raven's previous question.

"Ah, Raven. You do not know me? Oh, but you will." She pointed to the roses, then recited,

_"Things like this need time to bloom._

_If it should show up too soon, _

_Then it would be killed by frost,_

_And all its hope would be lost."_

Raven stared at her emotion incredulously. "What the heck is _that_ supposed to mean!" she blurted out angrily. The emotion merely laughed again, infuriating Raven even more.

"Raven, you seek to know these things too soon. But give it time; you will know."

This was too much for Raven. "If you won't give me a straight answer," she snapped coldly, "Then I'll find someone who will. I came looking for advice on how to deal with Beast Boy, not a bunch of jumbled-up rhymes."

The emotion's serene expression suddenly fell at the changeling's name. "Ah, Garfield," she lamented softly; her voice hardly ever seemed to rise above a whisper. "You wounded him with your words. You did not mean what you said, but he does not know that."

Raven stood in silence for a moment, partly taken aback at her emotion's sudden change of mood. "I-I don't know what to do," she finally admitted.

"Apologize," her emotion replied swiftly. There was a hint of sharpness to her otherwise soft voice, as if she thought that Raven should have been able to figure that out for herself.

The empath studied her emotion. "How?" she asked, breaking the short silence. "He probably doesn't even want to look at me after what I said to him, let alone let me talk to him."

The emotion gave a small, secretive smile, her eyes sparkling with hidden knowledge. "You may be surprised," she replied. "I know many things that you have not yet realized, Raven, though it is all in your mind. Remember, I am part of you. Trust me. Trust yourself."

* * *

There were tons of hidden messages in Raven's mysterious emotion's speech, and several meanings for each, and still the empath couldn't figure out what her emotion had hinted at. As well, they'd managed to dance all around the subject that Raven had gone there to discuss; why she was afraid of Beast Boy. Now, she was more lost and confused than when she'd started. 

_'Well, at least her instructions were specific,'_ the empath thought glumly. The elusive emotion had wanted her to apologize to Beast Boy. She figured she could at least do that much.

She rose from her bed, looking around at the gloomy and ominous décor of her room, as if searching it for an answer to her problems. She'd been in the habit of hiding out here for years, even before her nightmares. She had to, in order to keep her friends safe. She really did want to be part of their lives, instead of just someone standing on the sidelines, like at their games of football, but she knew it was an impossibility.

That was what bugged her about Beast Boy.

He knew her predicament, but still her tempted her with thoughts of acceptance and belonging, and that made being an outsider that much harder. Either he enjoyed tormenting her, or he really did want her to open up. Neither option was particularly favorable.

_'Well,'_ she thought with a resigned sigh, _'Might as well get this over with.'_

* * *

Thunk, thud… Thunk, thud… Thunk, thud… 

The repetitive sound of a rubber ball hitting the wall and then the floor were the only noises to be heard in Beast Boy's room. The changeling threw and caught the ball, and threw and caught, and threw, and caught… It was an activity he could do without thinking about, which was good, because his mind was on other things.

Namely, Raven.

He couldn't for the life of him figure out why she acted the way she did.

"I mean, I know she can't show emotion," he reasoned to the bouncy ball, "But when she does, why does it always have to be negative? And why is it always directed at _me_?"

He thought of her last words to him, and winced at the memory. She might as well have slapped him in the face. It would've hurt less. Whoever said that words would never hurt him was an idiot.

_'For years now, I've been trying to get her to open up, and become part of the team. Have I just been driving her off all along?'_

He stopped a moment, the words "become a part of the team" finally sinking in. Wasn't she already part of the team? After all, she _was_ a Titan, right? It was always hard to tell with Raven, and lately, it was becoming more and more difficult. One day she was there, and then gone the next… Who knew where Raven stood?

It took Beast Boy several moments to realize that, even though his hands were still trying to bounce the ball off the wall, the ball itself had given up long ago, and hadgone off exploringsomewhere.

"Crap," he muttered in exasperation, and began shuffling through the piles of clothing on his floor. His search was quickly ended by a sharp knock on his door.

* * *

"Beast Boy?" Raven called nervously, standing outside his bedroom door. She'd finally managed to drag herself down the hall to his door, though she'd dreaded every step of the way. 

_'Please don't be here,'_ she mentally begged, _'Please don't be here, please don't-'_

"Hey, Rae."

_'-Damn.'_

Raven looked up at the changeling, her words stuck in her throat. He looked so surprised to see her there… And he had every right to be, given what she'd said earlier.

"Beast Boy… Earlier, I didn't mean to say that. You don't bug me… Not all the time, anyway. I… I'm sorry." Having finished her speech, the empath swallowed, then looked up hopefully at the changeling.

The delight in his face surprised her. She wasn't quite sure what she had expected, but it certainly wasn't that. He looked so happy - so genuinely, honestly, sincerely happy - that Raven almost felt like smiling herself. She quickly squelched the feeling.

"It's okay, Rae. I know I can be an idiot sometimes."

Raven did smile at that. Somehow, it felt like an enormous weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

And then his arms were around her, and he was hugging her. The touch was so warm, so unexpected, that something inside Raven exploded, as well as something glass down the hall. The empath pulled back, her face a mask of astonishment.

Beast Boy's face was bright red, which looked odd for a boy with green skin. "Rae, I'm really sorry… I-I don't know why I did that, I just-"

Raven was down the hall before he had time to finish. In that simple touch, things had become as clear as day to her.

Minutes later, the empath was in her room, the door closed, her mind in shock. She knew why her powers had reacted the way they did just then. She knew why she'd had nightmares for months. And she knew why Beast Boy had been in those nightmares.

She was scared of Beast Boy. Well, not of him, but of him becoming too close to her, and what could happen as a result. That was what her nightmares had been about. That was why she'd driven him away.

But… Why was _he_ the only one who affected her like that? She couldn't possibly _like_ him… Could she? The empath had to smile. There wasn't even the slightest chance of that. But maybe she could tolerate him.

Maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.

**Alrighty, folks, that concludes 'Imaginary Monsters'. Honestly, this story should have been finished months ago, but it just... wasn't. I apologize for that (as well as my crappy attempt at poetry)... All I ask is that I get no more toasters.- Anyway, like always, remember to read and review, and be on the lookout for 'Shades of Grey' sometime soon! -salutes-**


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